Triolet – My version or hers?

At dVerse Poets’ Pub today, there was some great information on the triolet provided by Sam Peralta for this week’s FormForAll  at this link: http://dversepoets.com/

This is my contribution, inspired by conversations with my mother, on the occasions we seem to inhabit different universes (thankfully, not too frequently!).

Triolet: My version or hers?
Who creates the fiction?
Me not listening, or her forgetting?
We may never resolve the contradiction
of who creates the fiction….
I should try harder to listen
because I know it’s in her mind fermenting.
Who creates the fiction?
Me not listening, or her forgetting?

12 comments

  1. Yes – this subject is the bane of my existence. YOU SHOULD LISTEN HARDER! How is it women were not given the “off” button and men were! Yes we REMEMBER, you never heard to begin with. Take this to the ears of MEN, please! And thank you for the reminder.

    And if you want to ever please a woman, start by remembering what she said and if you want your marriage to last continue doing that.

  2. smiles…i appreciate this…makes me think of alzheimers…which is hard and have seen in some of my extended family…

    • Thanks, Brian..this is the first time I have tried one of the dVerse prompts, and I’m really pleased with the feedback, it’s great to share with such a diverse group.

  3. An interesting commentary on the mother-daughter relationship, and it works very well in the triolet structure.

  4. Very nicely written! I think this applies to many interactions between loved ones.

  5. Sheesh, this sounds like me and my husband. You nailed the communication issue. I love the musical quality here.

  6. Thanks for all the comments, I’m pleased I made the plunge and used dVerse for the first time!

  7. good question…not always easy to handle this.. sometimes when i talk to my mom (she’s 84 now) it’s difficult to find a path in between those universes, one that brings us closer together and not divides…

  8. Oh, very well done. I like this and can relate a bit too well! I think the form and repetition really enhance the meaning in this. I’m glad you stopped in for one at the dVerse pub, and that I got to read this!

  9. Linda Gruchy

    Like naramalone this is like the conversations I have with my hubby sometimes.

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